Monday, September 14, 2015

Good Bye Jenny.

Yesterday we met at the Greenbrier Pavilion and hiked to spread part of Jenny's ashes where they spread part of Charlie's.   I attended with Kent Hackendy, Mary Anne Brewer, and Tammi Layhue.
I was very glad for their company.  I was also glad to see familiar faces from the past.  I was glad to finally get to meet people I've known from phone calls, emails, blogs, cyberspace at last.
I made new friends.  I said farewell to a friend.  I got answers. I got to meet Peter Bennett, Jenny's brother.   I miss you, Jenny.  I hope you are
somewhere eternal and beautiful and peaceful.  I knew I loved you. I knew you cared about me right back.   I never expected to have to be doing this for you.  I didn't realize how much you had influenced me and still do.  I know now that you kept things from me because you knew what my
reaction would have been.  What it always is when I see someone I love suffering. I try to fix it.
I try to stop it.  I have questioned my own beliefs and tendencies.  Is it always right to try to stop
someone from ending their life here?  I don't know anymore.   I don't judge it.

     I just know right now hurts keen as a briar up on one of the ridges we climbed together.
Thank you for your love, your friendship, your encouragement,help and for believing in me.

I have wanted to call you or talk to you or see you if not daily then at least several times per week.
I found comfort and some of the BEST of human qualities in the Smoky Mountain Hiking Club.

I got to see and hug Jean Bangham and talk to her.   We are losing too many good ones.
It was good to see her again.

I hope to see you again one day.
Until then I am going to let losing you complete in me whatever work it is meant to accomplish.
Let it hone me and make me better.

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