Yesterday we met at the Greenbrier Pavilion and hiked to spread part of Jenny's ashes where they spread part of Charlie's. I attended with Kent Hackendy, Mary Anne Brewer, and Tammi Layhue.
I was very glad for their company. I was also glad to see familiar faces from the past. I was glad to finally get to meet people I've known from phone calls, emails, blogs, cyberspace at last.
I made new friends. I said farewell to a friend. I got answers. I got to meet Peter Bennett, Jenny's brother. I miss you, Jenny. I hope you are
somewhere eternal and beautiful and peaceful. I knew I loved you. I knew you cared about me right back. I never expected to have to be doing this for you. I didn't realize how much you had influenced me and still do. I know now that you kept things from me because you knew what my
reaction would have been. What it always is when I see someone I love suffering. I try to fix it.
I try to stop it. I have questioned my own beliefs and tendencies. Is it always right to try to stop
someone from ending their life here? I don't know anymore. I don't judge it.
I just know right now hurts keen as a briar up on one of the ridges we climbed together.
Thank you for your love, your friendship, your encouragement,help and for believing in me.
I have wanted to call you or talk to you or see you if not daily then at least several times per week.
I found comfort and some of the BEST of human qualities in the Smoky Mountain Hiking Club.
I got to see and hug Jean Bangham and talk to her. We are losing too many good ones.
It was good to see her again.
I hope to see you again one day.
Until then I am going to let losing you complete in me whatever work it is meant to accomplish.
Let it hone me and make me better.