Mama's New Beau-- Kids Get Me in Trouble

 

Mama's New Beau-- Kids Get Me in Trouble

by Dana Koogler 

Nov. 16, 2022

    I was the mom who did a lot of stuff with not only my kids, but their buddies as well.   Jared's best friend was Caleb Hines.   I loved Caleb then and guess I always will.    He was a funny, cool kid.  Crystal and all of us enjoyed his company.   One day I took Crystal, her then boyfriend Corey Lancaster, Jared and Caleb all swimming at the river.    We drove over to Townsend and 

went to the G Swing.  It was a pull off by the road down from the River Rat. It has a good place to jump into the river and a nice deep hole of water.  There is indeed a rope swing there or there was then.   

    

Below is a photo of left to right.. Caleb, Jared and Crystal.  I don't have any photos of Corey that I am aware of. 

        

  We got there and were swimming.   It is one of those places you never have to yourself so we were not surprised to see other folks around.  Tubers come down the river and get out and jump back in.   Some man and his son were there. I noticed Jared & Caleb talking to them, but I was busy swimming so I paid no mind to it.    

    Corey was a funny kid.  Crystal swam across the river and was not right by us.  Corey and I were near one another in the shallows.  Some real big lady came down the river in her tube.  She was wearing a bikini.  Not saying it was a good idea, but she had one on just the same.   She was struggling to stay in her inner tube from the River Rat.   She had a beer in one hand, a lit cigarette in the other hand. She was trying to get her behind into the tube and hang onto everything at once.  In her squirming and struggling something popped up from out of her left breast of her bikini top.  A zip lock bag with a packet of cigarettes and her lighter!  

      Corey was standing behind me watching this and narrating it with the voice of Boomhauer from King of the Hill.  " Dang ole river, I'm losin' my gawd dang cigarettes man."  I lost it. I started horse laughing at this and unfortunately the lady could see me, but not Corey.  She shook her fist at me and frowned.  It didn't make any difference for I could not stop laughing. 

Corey just kept on with his narration.    

    I decided I'd best look busy doing something.  I swam over to the rocks, climbed up and got ready to jump in again.   Up there on the rocks and the platform there was somewhat of a line of people.   This big fat guy .. the dad there with his teenaged son started chatting me up.  I was cordial enough, but did not let him hold me up from what I was doing.   I kept jumping in and going back to do it over.   Each time he was more and more friendly and chummy.  Trying to chat me up and overstepping boundaries more and more each trip.   I eventually became so uncomfortable I just stayed down in the river with Corey and Crystal.   At last we got ready to leave and I climbed out and this dude is trying to follow me and still chat me up.  I got in the jeep and loaded up kids and left.   I was creeped out and in my mind I was mentally reviewing what I had done that might have given him the wrong ideas about me?   

     They couldn't contain themselves too long once we got driving down the road.   They were so proud of themselves for pulling a fast one on me.  Caleb confessed that he and Jared had given that man my "phone number" and told him I was recently divorced.  They told him I was painfully shy and he'd have to make the first move, but he was JUST MY TYPE!  

    It is funny now, but at the time I couldn't believe they had gotten me yet again!  They got me into more trouble than you can shake a stick at. 

Got us kicked out of the Olympia Gym for sneaking in the ventilation system and peeping at naked women.    Got me chased by a dog while riding a bicycle dressed like a home boy.   Had me riding across the swinging bridge at Dark Island like a freaking unicycle clown while a long line of pedestrians angrily glared at me waiting on me to get across.   

    

Above: Me back in those days trying to deflate our tent after a camping trip.  I needed to squish the air out of it so I could fold it up.  The kids took my picture.  I was struggling.  

Above: Caleb Hines and Eric Reagan at the rope swing.  Derek Adams and Cameron Beaver in the river.  Derek has oars and is trying to row.

Above: the old rope swing near the house at Blount Beach

Above: Back row-- Jared and Derek Front Row.. Eric and Caleb

I guess Derek and Caleb decided it was mohawk time.  You never knew at my house what these fools would get up to.   There were quite a few crazy haircuts.   Caleb and Jared also learned the hard way that if you cut bad words into your hair as a joke... and cut them all the way down to the scalp... you will have to be Kojak bald before you can "erase" them. 

Below: Telly Savalas as the bald headed  Detective Kojak. 

Above: Jared and Caleb at one of the lesser seen falls along the Road Prong. We took them hiking this day.  

Below: They are out in the middle of Road Prong on a rock. 

Below: Caleb and Jared in the rock over hang at Ozone Falls. Another day of hiking.