Funny Stories : I'm the Head Rat Catcher in This Outfit

 

 I'm the Head Rat Catcher in This Outfit 

Dana Koogler 

Feb. 23, 2024

circa   November 1987 

  Back when Kenny and I first went to house keeping we lived in a trailer home.  It was 1970s avocado green and baby blue decoration.  Very dated but it was 100% paid for.   We had no house payment or rent.   We lived there while I finished nursing school, graduated, went to work, and had our first baby.  Crystal was born and we were living in that thing.  It had two bedrooms. Two bathrooms and was a decent place to live.  Everyone with any sense knows that in the Fall of the year you need to be on the look out for rodents. The weather turns cold and they are looking for a way to get inside where it is warm.   

           I began to hear sounds and see droppings that made me realize we had a rodent problem.

It was not new to me. I went to the store and put out bait stations with mouse poison.     I caught a mouse or two with traps.   I killed one in front of the stove in the kitchen by whooping it to death with a broom. 

I still heard loud banging noises and clattering under the kitchen sink.   I began to find mouse poison pellets stashed in the couch cushions!  I told Kenny, my mother in law and my dad that we had a rat.    They laughed and told me I was over reacting.   

       I knew damn good and well what I was hearing.  I went to the Farmers Co-Op and bought a God's honest RAT TRAP.  I was scared to death of the trap.  I put on boots and gloves and set that thing.  I tied chalk line to  the trap and tied the line to the drawer track.  The last thing I wanted was a decomposing dead rat stinking up my home.      I used a long metal grill spatula to gently lift that thing into place once I got it set.  

          

  We went to bed that night and turned the lights out.   We were laying there drifting off to sleep when we heard a loud snap from the kitchen.  It was followed by the most blood curdling squeaks and screeches and lots of thrashing around.   Kenny reached over and got me by the hand and said "What are you gonna do?"     I had proven my point.  We caught a great big Norway rat in that trap.  I was vindicated.   They never doubted me after that.    

Fast Forward to June 2023 

    Kenny went to bed about thirty minutes ahead of me.  I went to the downstairs to turn off lights and check to see that doors were locked.       I noticed Dolly, one of our cats messing with a rodent on the floor.   I  couldn't tell at first what was up. I had made up my mind if it was dead I'd just let her keep it.   I watched and waited and finally could see it try to run away from her.

That did it!  I dashed to the garage and came back with a shovel.   

    Dolly saw me come back in with the shovel and took off upstairs with the mouse.  I was freaked out and hollered for Kenny to help me.   He got up and looked around and just went back to bed. He was no help to me at all.    Dolly had taken the mouse into the kids room.  She hunkered down over it and lay flat down hiding it under her belly.   I picked her up and the mouse dashed away. I put her down and let her catch it again.    She darted downstairs with the mouse in her teeth. 

     

     She had taken it in the family room on the carpet.   She'd grab it then let it go so it could run from her.  During one of those times it fled from her I bashed it one good whack with the shovel and squashed it.    Dirt clods flew off that shovel all over the place, but I did not care.  The mouse was terminated with extreme prejudice.     I hate rodents and their germs and beady eyes.   A rat or mouse or seeing their droppings will send me into a cleaning and bleaching swivet like nothing else.   

    I confronted Kenny about leaving me to deal with the rodents yet again.   He laughed and cringed and said "You had it handled."    Thus I have the dubious title of head rat catcher.   

        

above: Norway rat beady eyed vermin

Above:  The Pied Piper of Hamlin... round here Frau Kügler is the woman in charge of rat killing.